Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
