what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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