I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In other news, I just burned my penis
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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