i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
