Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Less talking, more tequila
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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