The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
