can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
