No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
