i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
