Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
