Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize