he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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