so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
