It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
