He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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