Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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