im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
