There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
