Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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