You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
