i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
