I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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