if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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