you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
