She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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