I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
