If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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