Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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