I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
