youre lurking in front of me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize