ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
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God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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