If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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