apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
