I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
