apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
