Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
