I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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