I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
