My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
