3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
