She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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