i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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