I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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