Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
