how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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