I wish I could punch you in the face.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
