I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
