I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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