I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she woke up with a sticky ear
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dick very happy bro
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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