Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
