were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
