What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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