There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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