I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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