My sheets look like a crime scene.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
