The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
