you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
