dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
