Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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