honey bunches of taint.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
