I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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