Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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