Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
