Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
