Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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