Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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