Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
